Explain This
by lital-tee
Summary: 1x2x1 Duo finds Heero's journal and reads an obscure entry. Now he wants to know what it means. Only the first scene of chapter 3 has been uploaded.
1. Journal

Things never turn out the way that you want them to. People perceive what you say in a skewed manner and never let you explain. Well, at least not if they don't want to hear it.  
  
~  
  
"Heero! Let me explain!" Duo ran towards the retreating figure.  
  
"No! Leave me alone!" Heero paused and reminded himself to breathe. "We have to get ready for this mission. We'll discuss this later."  
  
"Promise me, Heero." Duo toyed with the end of his braid as he trailed behind the other boy.  
  
Heero spun and glared. "Later, Duo."  
  
Duo threw his hands up, "Fine, fine!" He then stalked towards Deathsythe, grumbling all the while.  
  
The mission was very easy, only the two of them were needed- Duo for his stealth abilities to infiltrate the base and get a pass-code, and Heero to use that pass-code to get into their main database system and find the layout plans of a larger, more important base that they would have to sneak into in a few days' time. It went without a hitch.  
  
But when the returned, Heero was in a very bad mood.  
  
"Heero! You pro~mised!"  
  
"I did no such thing. Go away, Duo. I said, 'Later!'" Heero walked calmly past the braided boy and shut himself into his assigned room that was devoid of any personal affects beyond his state-of-the-art laptop computer.  
  
Duo, however, was unaffected by this false show of apathy. He had been around Heero long enough to know that he was hiding something- especially after what happened this morning.  
  
*Flashback*  
  
Duo rummaged around in Heero's room, wondering if the boy could truly be such a "Perfect Soldier." Everyone had something that they treasured, someway to give their feelings an outlet. And under the mattress, 'Classic place,' Duo thought, he found a journal. He opened it to a random page and began to read.  
  
***He haunts my dreams, now. Why can't he just let me be? I've paid my due, and nothing should be so hard as not being able to reach back in my dreams to comfort him, but something is- not being able to do it in the waking world. He never shows us the true him, but I know that deep down, he is hurting. I know it sounds silly, but I want to help him.***  
  
"What the fuck are you doing in my bedroom?" Heero stood in the doorway, and Duo berated himself for getting absorbed in reading the journal- ah, shit! The journal!  
  
"Ah, nothing important, Heero!" He tried to hide it behind his back, but failed miserably as Heero quickly called his bluff.  
  
"Nothing important, but it was so interesting that you of all people didn't hear me approach?" Heero glanced around the room, checking for anything out of place, but nothing was, except… "Give it here." He held out his hand. "How much did you read?" His voice was soft, almost frightened.  
  
"Huh?" Duo studied his companion's face momentarily before the Perfect Soldier's mask was quickly slid back into place.  
  
"You couldn't leave it alone, could you? And now you know…" Heero took the journal back and held it to his chest protectively. The he spun on the ball of his foot and dashed out of the room.  
  
"Heero?" Duo scrambled up from his place on the floor and ran after him.  
  
*End Flashback*  
  
It was so not like Heero that Duo was both alarmed and intrigued at the same time. What was it that Heero was so afraid that he had read? Who was Heero writing about? Duo grinned. He'd just have to read more to find out! 


	2. Braid

Thanks HeeroDuo1x2x1 for the wonderful review. I really appreciate that you took the time! *grins* hope this chapter is up to par!  
  
Thanks also to the "unknown person" who reviewed. I'm glad you liked it, and here's the update!  
  
*****  
  
The next few days, both boys were on edge. Heero was constantly side stepping Duo, and Duo was looking everywhere for the journal without being too obvious.  
  
When Heero caught Duo trying to hack into Wing, though, the normally silent boy exploded. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" His hands were clenched into fists, but his voice was soft and threatening.  
  
"Ummm…" Duo quickly tried to come up with a valid excuse, but could think of nothing that wouldn't be a lie. "I can't tell you," He opted for.  
  
"Why not?" Heero looked mildly amused, though still deadly.  
  
"You'd probably kill me if I told you." Duo slid down off of Wing to stand beside Heero.  
  
"And I'll kill you if you don't."  
  
"Hmmm. Tough choice then, eh? Be killed and have you know, or be killed and have you not know. I think I like the second option better." Duo grinned.  
  
Heero reached out and slammed Duo up against the side of the Gundam. "I'm warning you, Maxwell." He brought his face so close to Duo's that he could feel the shorter boy's breath on his neck. "You will tell me."  
  
Duo stood up on his tiptoes to look Heero dead in the eyes. "No," he paused, "I won't." Then the maniacal pilot dart his tongue out and licked the glaring boy's nose.  
  
Heero loosened his grip in astonishment, and Duo broke free and took off, laughing, towards the safehouse.  
  
***  
  
Heero knew that his journal wouldn't be safe in Wing any longer. Duo's hacking skills were second only to his own, and given enough time, he could break in.  
  
As he sat in Wing and contemplated what to do, he realized that he was shaking slightly. 'What's wrong with me?' he thought. He analyzed exactly what he was feeling and contributed it to the ice sharp needle of fear that he felt in the pit of his stomach. 'What am I so afraid of? Duo?' He shook his head. 'No, not being able to help him.' Heero shook his head in anger. "I am a Gundam pilot," he said to himself. "And so is Duo. He can handle himself."  
  
He busied himself with minor repairs in Wing just to clear his head, and ran some ideas for re-coding his Gundam through his mind as he worked. When he finally checked the time, he was startled to find that he had been working over seven hours. Heero quickly assessed the amount of work that he had done and determined that he was extremely distracted for his efficiency to be so poor. What took seven hours should have only taken three.  
  
He stretched the kinks out of his shoulder and climbed out of the cockpit slowly, mindful of his aching limbs. He slid down the side of the horizontal Gundam and was startled to find he had almost landed on a sleeping Duo.  
  
His dark clothes easily blended in with the deepening shadows of the early evening, but his pale, heart-shaped face stood out sharply against the dark earth. For a moment, Heero thought the frail boy was dead, but the slow rhythmic motion of his chest told otherwise.  
  
'Baka,' Heero thought, though he found himself studying the sleeping boy. Duo was curled up in a fetal position, protecting himself, even in sleep. His face was calm, and yet still reserved. Clutched in his hand was his braid. The long chestnut braid was messed up, with strands falling out of the usually neat plait. Heero rolled his eyes at the observation. 'That braid will get him killed one day.'  
  
"Baka, wake up." Heero said as he kicked him awake.  
  
Duo's violet eyes were frantic and terrified for all of a half of a second before he composed himself. "What?"  
  
"What are you doing on the ground?" Heero leaned up against his Gundam.  
  
The long haired boy sat up. "What's it look like?" He muttered.  
  
Heero poked him in the ribs with a steel-toed sneaker. "Sleeping on the job, Maxwell?"  
  
Duo swat his foot away and stood. "You keep calling me that!" He whined playfully.  
  
"What, Maxwell?" Heero snorted. He pushed off Wing, and began to walk away.  
  
"Fine then!" Duo called after him, "I'll just call you Hee-chan!"  
  
Heero spun and gave him his patent Death Glare. "Don't you dare!"  
  
Duo smiled smugly as he strolled past the glaring boy. "Come along, Hee-chan. Let's go eat dinner."  
  
"Maxwell!" He growled warningly.  
  
"Come on, Hee-chan! Wu-babe made dinner hours ago, he's probably angry that we- eep!" He squeaked as Heero lunged after him.  
  
Duo was faster, but Heero had more stamina, so the violet eyed boy knew that he had to get to the house to find Quatre or he'd be in biiiig trouble.  
  
"Quat!" He shouted as he ran, "Save me!!!!"  
  
The door opened moments before he got there, but Duo couldn't stop himself in time. He soon found himself squished between Quatre and Heero who was ready to throttle him.  
  
"Can't… breathe…" Quatre was able to wheeze out from the bottom of the pile.  
  
"Off, Hee-chan!" He squirmed under Heero's weight.  
  
The unexpected friction send a line of fire to his groin, and Heero growled. "Don't move, Maxwell."  
  
"You're hurting Quat!" Duo squirmed more, but was unable to free himself.  
  
"You're about to get hurt!" Heero wrapped his hand around the fraying braid and pulled Duo up with him, using him as a human shield so the other pilots couldn't see what those simple movements had done to his usually unbreakable control.  
  
Trowa stepped forward and helped the small blonde pilot to his feet and received a thankful, but tired smile in reply.  
  
"Where were you?" Wufei grit out. "Dinner was two hours ago!"  
  
"We got distracted." Duo said stiffly, not moving a muscle, for fear of his precious hair that currently lay in the death grips of the Perfect Soldier.  
  
"Heat it up for us. We'll be down in a few minutes." Heero nudged Duo forward. "Upstairs, you."  
  
He led the trembling pilot upstairs to his room and told him, "Sit down. Don't move."  
  
"Where are you going?" Duo tenderly stroked his now-free braid.  
  
"To take a shower." Heero replied without turning around. He made his way down the hall and entered the small room. It wasn't the best safe house they has ever been in, but the stove worked and the water was hot. But that wasn't what he needed now.  
  
He turned the water on ice cold, and stripped out of his clothing, noting in passing his muscular frame was beginning to stretch out. He was getting taller. That meant that the drugs that Dr. J had given him were wearing off. He mused over this before stepping into the icy spray.  
  
Heero grit his teeth against the cold, but washed his body with the efficiency of a well-trained soldier. He was thankful that his blood flow had returned to normal, the main purpose of the impromptu shower.  
  
The water dripped off him in sheets and he angrily suppressed the urge to shiver. He glanced around and noted that Duo had used the last towel and forgot to replace it. He opened the door, prepared to walk naked and dripping down the hall, and almost tripped on a towel that was placed just outside the door.  
  
He wrapped it around his waist and stalked down the hall to his bedroom where Duo sat on the edge of his bed, his hair unraveled, and draped about his shoulders.  
  
"I know you told me not to move, but I thought that you might want a towel, so I got up and brought you one because I forgot to bring mine back this morning, and I really hope that you're not mad at me, but I know that you are, and I just hope that you'll forgive me for reading you journal, but I just couldn't help it, I just had to know, and now I can't stop thinking about what I read, and you won't even talk to me, and I-"  
  
"Baka." Heero growled as he closed the door to the bedroom. "Shut up!" He walked past Duo and to his dresser, hoping Duo didn't see his renewed state of 'distress.' He turned his back to the now-silent boy and dropped his towel and pulled on a pair of jeans. He rubbed the towel through his hair then pulled his tank top on over his head, and turned back to a smirking Duo.  
  
"That's why your hair is always messed up! You don't even brush it or anything!" He grinned, the mocking grin decidedly at odds with the innocent look of the thin boy with long unbound hair.  
  
"What, and yours isn't, now?" Heero snorted.  
  
"I-" Duo suddenly looked very guilty. "Quat didn't do it this morning. He had a mission."  
  
"Why would Quatre be doing your hair?" His eyes flicked over the boy. "Status report."  
  
"Not great." Duo whispered, studiously looking at the floor. His hands slowly rose and unbuttoned the buttons of his shirt. He pulled it to the side and revealed a deep purple bruise on his ribs.  
  
Heero sucked in a breath. "You were hurt?" The tender look in his eyes was quickly replaced with anger. "You should have told me! It has to go in the mission reports!"  
  
"I'm sorry, it just went so well, all up until the very end. I overlooked a guy and he shot me. Good thing for the vests, or I'd be just as dead as he is now." He buttoned his shirt back up and tentatively raised his head to meet Heero's gaze.  
  
"Give me your brush."  
  
"What?" Duo asked, completely confused.  
  
"Go get it. I won't ask again."  
  
Duo grumbled as he rose. "Never asked in the first place." Moments later, though, Duo was back, brush in hand.  
  
"Sit," Heero instructed, pointing to the chair in front of the desk. "Sideways."  
  
Duo nodded and did as he was told.  
  
Heero carefully ran the brush through the long chestnut strands. He had seen it out of the braid only a couple of times before, but had never touched it when unbound. He took his time, carefully untangling each hair, never snagging or pulling. Once finished, he did it again, finding the simple act to be extremely stress-relieving.  
  
Duo was almost purring in pleasure. Quatre was good, he did have 29 sisters, after all, but he never gave this much care to the chestnut strands. He was sure that Heero should be done by now, but he didn't say a word, taking comfort in the stoic boy's closeness.  
  
Suddenly there was a pounding on Heero's bedroom door. "What are you two doing in there?" Wufei yelled. "Your dinner's getting cold! Again!"  
  
Neither boy replied as they heard the footsteps move away.  
  
Heero quickly braided Duo's hair and held out his hand. "Elastic." Duo handed it to him, and Heero bound the braid expertly.  
  
Then without another word, Heero left the room, leaving Duo alone with a confused jumble of thoughts. What had just happened? Did Heero forgive him for reading the journal? Duo sighed and stood, examining the braid for any imperfections. There were none, just like the Perfect Soldier. Or so he had thought.  
  
*****  
  
NOTE TO MY READERS!!!!  
  
I'm looking for a beta reader, as per HeeroDuo1x2x1's suggestion. Any takers? Email me at sabregrrl@cox.net 


	3. Ch 3 part 1

Thank you sooo much to all who reviewed! I hope you will continue to do so!  
  
Okay… I admit it… I'm feeling a little bit lazy tonight, and I don't really want to write anymore this evening. So I'll put the first scene up now, and then add the rest later, okay? Please don't get mad, I'll update soon, I promise!!  
  
*****  
  
The next few days were much the same. With Duo's injury, Heero took over the brushing of the long hair, and Duo found it was being taken care of better under Heero's supervision than his own. He loved the feeling of someone else brushing his hair, though he had never thought that someone else would be the infamous Heero Yuy.  
  
"Oy, Hee-chan?" Duo asked one day during one of their hair-brushing sessions.   
  
"Hn?"  
  
"Why do you brush my hair?" The brush stopped mid-stroke. "I mean, I don't mind, and my ribs feel a lot better now. So why-" Duo played with the edge of his shirt.  
  
"Baka." Heero tugged on a strand of hair then continued brushing. "Simple stress-relief in times of war."  
  
"Oh." Duo studied his hands.  
  
After a few minutes of silence, "Elastic."  
  
Duo twisted in his chair and came face to face with a surprised Heero who still held the end of the braid. "Is that it?"  
  
Heero raised an eyebrow. "Is what it?"  
  
"Is that the only reason you brush my hair for me?"  
  
"Baka." He extracted the elastic from around Duo's wrist then tied it off before sitting in the desk chair, having long since brought a second chair into their now shared room. He typed randomly on the keyboard for a few moments. "I have a mission."  
  
"What mission?" Duo asked stiffly.  
  
The two boys locked eyes. "Infiltration of the base at the coordinates that we stole. I am to get the plans for a new mobile suit they are creating and destroy the base when the information has been transferred."  
  
"Transferred to where?"  
  
"My Gundam." Heero said quietly.  
  
"No!" Duo shouted. "It's a suicide mission! You need me to help, or you'll die!"  
  
"So be it then. We have already waited too long for you to heal. We have lost the advantage and you are in no condition to be taking this on. My Gundam will not be destroyed, therefore there is only an acceptable loss. Me." Heero's voice was ice cold.  
  
"That's not acceptable!" Duo wouldn't meet his gaze. "How long have you known?"  
  
"A few days now. If you didn't make significant improvement, this would be the only other option." Heero shook his head. "There is no other way."  
  
Duo looked up and violet eyes met prussian blue. "What if there was?"  
  
"There isn't." Heero said flatly.  
  
"If there was," Duo pleaded. "Would you try it?"  
  
Heero snorted. "Of course. I don't particularly relish the idea of dying."  
  
"That's a relief," Duo joked, "I was beginning to think that you had a death wish or something!"  
  
Heero looked away, uneasy. "I used to."  
  
Duo moved to kneel on the floor next to Heero. "What changed?"  
  
Heero only glanced at Duo before quickly glancing away again. "Everything."  
  
"Everything?" Duo prodded. "Like what?"  
  
"I don't know." Heero sighed. "Just, everything." He finished lamely.  
  
"Okay," Duo nodded. "Is it a good or a bad change?"  
  
"Good, I guess."  
  
"Try to name one thing that has gone from bad to good."  
  
"You."  
  
Duo's eyes widened in surprise. "Me?"  
  
Heero opened his mouth to continue, but was interrupted by a knock at their door. Or rather, an angry Wufei pounding at the door. "Maxwell! How dare you replace my shampoo with honey! This is injustice!"  
  
Duo looked around for a place to hide and Heero actually smiled. "Honey?"  
  
Duo grinned in mock abashment. "I thought he'd like it better than pink hair dye."  
  
"I think he would too." Heero stood and commanded Duo, "On your feet."  
  
Duo rose gracefully and Heero pointed to the door. "You're not really gonna send me out there, are you, Hee-chan?"  
  
"Baka," Heero deadpanned. "Just because I admire you for pulling a stunt like that, doesn't mean that I don't want to see what happens when Wufei gets his hands on you!"  
  
Duo's shoulders slumped. "You're cruel."  
  
Heero just chuckled and unlocked the door. He took great pleasure in watching the chase that ensued.  
  
***  
  
Next scene coming soon! 


End file.
